It is one of the banes of the best man:  Giving the wedding toast. This can make a best nervous, nauseous and nearly faint. Never knowing what to say and what not to say can make planning funny wedding toasts a feat of Herculean proportions. You want to let everyone know how happy your about the wedding, how great the bride and groom both are, and wish them a long and happy future. Sounds boring – right? How many times has that exact same wedding toast been told?  At least one time too many!! By bringing a little humor into the toast, you can lighten up the atmosphere; make the wedding guests laugh and still honor the bride and groom. Easier said then done though right? Below is on simple suggestion for making funny wedding toasts and one that will not soon be forgotten.

The secret is in what you do not say. 

Spend a few days collecting embarrassing, funny or downright silly stories about both the bride and the groom. If you do not know the bride very well, enlist the help of her maid of honor. Once you have a hand full of stories, get them down to one line.  This is important because when you give the actual speech, you are not going to tell the whole story – in fact you are going to make it seem much worse than it really is by simply adding the words “I’m not going to tell you about” to each story.

For example, a wedding I recently attended had one of the greatest funny wedding toasts given by the best man:

I’ve know Brandt for many years, we met in high school and have always been completive. I’ve only known his new wife Anna for a few years, but I’ve had a chance to get to know her a bit. I’m not going to give one of those mushy toasts, or even an embarrassing one. That is why I’m not going to tell you about the time Anna sold bananas in a bar for beer. I’m also not going to tell you about how Brandt was nearly arrested for mooning a police cruiser. Nor will I tell you about the time Anna and Brandt were on the beach at midnight doing handstands….”  Unlike many funny wedding toasts, this one can go on forever

The funny wedding toasts went on from there with many other embarrassing stories that we were never told about. This was the greatest of funny wedding toasts and had the guests in stitches, partly because of the funny script and partly because of the funny way it was delivered. The best man used a lot of eye rolling, finger shaking and funny looks to really drive the toast forward. It was one of the best funny wedding toasts.

Giving a wedding toast is often a difficult thing, learning to tread line between humor and embarrassment can be hard. Keep funny wedding toasts light by not telling the guests any funny or embarrassing stories! This can be a fun and lighthearted way to toast in the new couple. If nothing else, everyone will remember you for one of the best funny wedding toasts and what you never said.

Giving clever and funny wedding toasts is traditionally the job of the best man. Today it is becoming more common for both the best man and the maid of honor to both give wedding toasts. Working together, the best man and the maid of honor can create one of the most unique and funny wedding toasts that no guest will ever forget. A great way to do this is to enlist the help of several friends or family members to help you act out the toast. Sounds complicated I know, but with a little bit of planning, acting out a wedding toast by the maid of honor, best man and family friends can be one of the more memorable funny wedding toasts that will never be forgotten.

Like any play, the first step in acting out funny wedding toasts is coming up with a script. A great idea is to write a skit centered on how your bride and groom met, but make it a farce. Keep it light and friendly. Find out all the details on how they met and see if you can’t change it up a little bit to make it funny instead of serious to make one of the most silly and funny wedding toasts.

Once you have the script down, find some actors and suitable costumes. Again, when designing costumes make them a funny representation of how your bride and groom really dress. For example, if you bride is known for formal business attire, consider dressing up your actress in a business suit that is falling apart. Whatever costumes you pick, make sure they get to the reception in time for the one of the best and funny wedding toasts ever!

Finally, practice, practice, practice. You want this little skit to come off flawlessly, because while you are making fun of your bride and groom, you are also honoring them. Practice always makes funny wedding toasts come off better. I saw this done particularly well at a wedding last year.

In that case, the bride and groom had met on-line and encountered a few problems when they met in person for the first time. The reality was the bride got lost on the way to the restaurant they were supposed to meet at and they ended up meeting in the parking lot of a grocery store. The best man and maid of honor rewrote the meeting and told it in the following way while their actors acted out the parts of these funny wedding toasts. I found this to be one of the funny wedding toasts I will never forget.

Kathy, who is FAMOUS for getting lost, held true to form. She got in her little car, took off down the road and promptly became utterly lost. Dixon, driving from the other direction, finally got her on track and had her meet him in the parking lot of a grocery store (he was afraid to have her drive anywhere else). In typical Kathy fashion, once she arrived at the store, she exited her car and went in.  This was probably a mistake. Her poor sense direction had her wondering around the cold cuts when Dixon finally found her. He had spent time asking every single woman in the store if their name was Kathy. By the time they final met, the restaurant was closed and they ended up having deli take out sitting on the trunk of his car.

Creating a script and acting it out is a unique way to create funny wedding toasts that they wedding guests are sure to enjoy.

If you are looking for a way to liven up a wedding toast you need to give, a great was to create funny wedding toasts is by starting out with a joke. Make sure to pick a few jokes that are funny but not offensive. Do a stand up comedy routine as an introduction to funny wedding toasts and watch the guests roar with laughter.

Finding the perfect wedding joke with really funny wedding toasts is actually very easy. There are many available on the internet or in several books available at your local book store. Funny wedding toasts can be a lot of fun. The only concern you have is making sure is to not be offensive. Below is a brief collection of funny wedding jokes you can incorporate into your wedding toast. Picking a few funny jokes is a great way to create funny wedding toasts.

1. Don’t think of marriage as a word, rather think of it as a sentence – a life sentence.
2. When a man marries, he must be prepared for four different ‘rings.’ An Engagement ring, a wedding ring, suffer-ring and endure-ring.
3. When you get married, you often end up feeling like you have just gone to a restaurant and ordered exactly what you wanted, until you see what your neighbor ordered – and wish you had ordered the same.
4. Love is like a long and beautiful dream. Getting married is the wake up call.
5. An ancient Chinese proverb reads: He who holds hands before exchanging wedding vows is in love. He who holds hands afterwards is defending himself.
6. One evening the phone rang and the women got up to answer it. Returning to the couch, the man asked her who it was. She replied it was her husband. “Oh no!” said he, “I’d better leave – when will he be home?” she replied with a smile “don’t worry, he will be out late – he is shooting pool with you!”
7. I’m not giving a one of those funny wedding toasts; I’m talking about the institution of marriage. It’s a funny thing: he groom loses his Bachelor’s degree while the bride gets a Masters.
8. Marriage is a beautiful thing; it puts one ring on the bride’s finger and two under the groom’s eyes.
9. A new bride had her portrait done at a local photography study. She dressed carefully for the session and covered herself in all the jewels she could find. When asked why, her reply was simple:  If I should happen to die and my husband finds another wife, I’d want her to drive herself insane searching for all of the jewelry.
10. An elderly couple had been married for almost 70 years when the husband was asked if he had ever considered divorce. His reply? “Never divorce, murder, of course, but not divorce.

Starting out funny wedding toasts with a few funny jokes is a funny way to create a unique toast. Avoid the same old boring toast and do something fun and lighthearted instead. Funny wedding toasts are one way to honor the bride and groom. Put your comedy skills to the test with really funny wedding toasts and start the evening off with a few well chosen jokes.